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Emotions can be a double-edged sword. Balanced
expression can help us to articulate more clearly, or the lack thereof can
defeat the whole purpose of effective communication, thereby causing rifts
in even the most placid of relationships.
While being too
emotional is not good, not being emotional enough can cause just as
many problems. We all have emotions, including the most ‘in-his-head’
Gemini, who is a good example of this particular dilemma. And believe me,
it can be a dilemma. Even
Geminis with a stellium that includes Mercury (communication, intellect)
and the Moon (emotions, intuition), though they feel more comfortable
not feeling, innately know that
something is missing: their emotions.
One Gemini once told me, when he realized that he was
working too much and needed to take a bit of a break, that he also
realized he needed to be more moderate in his behavior, including his
propensity to overwork himself. While the moderation or balancing aspect
is a Libra trait, I’m not surprised that he feels this way: while his Sun
is in Gemini, he has a Libra Ascendant. Libra is the balancer, the
diplomat; it’s glyph, a pair of scales. The Libra influence balances,
while the Gemini influence is extremely frenetic, kinetic and pushes. And
Mars in Gemini sextile Pluto will make sure of that push; usually in the
way of new ideas, and certainly physical movement.
Please note that this is not implying that Geminis are
heartless. There’s a big difference between being heartless and not
reacting, emotionally. Air Signs feel the same emotions we all do, however
they generally choose not to express them. However, if we are to be
balanced, we need to look at the other aspect of emotionalism as welll:
the lack of any emotional expression at all and its affects on those with
whom we interact.
When Saying Nothing Causes More Harm than Talking
Other than lawyers and professional debaters, few of us
make a living from arguing. So when arguments rear their ugly heads in
relationships – any type of
relationship – it can be extremely disconcerting for anyone involved.
Unfortunately, the first inclination for many is to
walk away from the disagreement, thinking that walking away is the best
thing one can do to preserve the relationship and our sanity. Well, yes
and no. While it’s certainly better not
to argue, the problem here is that when issues arise that
genuinely need resolution, the chances of determining the best method or
methods for doing so are not explored, and hence, the problem is rarely
solved.
Generally this is due to the probability that one
person may be too emotional, making it difficult for the other individual
to want to communicate. Whereas, the other might be so shut off from his
or her own emotions that they don’t know how to express the necessary
feelings that would contribute to the resolution of their communication
dilemma.
Further, while being too emotional tips the scales to
one extreme, not allowing yourself to feel and express your emotions, tips
the scales in the opposite direction.
In other words, expressing your feelings too
vociferously can drive others away, while not being willing to explore and
express uncomfortable feelings can cause others to believe that you don’t
care enough about your relationship with them to even put forth the effort
to listen.
If one cares enough about the quality of the
interaction with another, as well as how the other feels, taking the time
to listen can only improve the relationship. Even in a situation where one
individual is emotionally volatile, listening helps to quell the fear
and/or frustration that arises when one feels as though their concerns are
either being discounted, or not heard at all.
We all like to know that our fears, dreams, desires and
hopes are being heard by whomever we choose to express them. Allowing
ourselves to open up in a balanced manner, can mean the difference between
a a wonderfully rich, and emotionally fulfilling relationship, and the
loss of the relationship entirely.
© 2007 Kat Starwolf All Rights Reserved
Kat Starwolf is a practicing relationship and empathic counseling
astrologer, researcher, metaphysician and avid reader of anything
pertaining to human inter-relatedness, emotions, sexuality, sociology
and psychology. She is also currently working on her degree in
counseling psychology. She may be contacted at 400 Capital Circle SE,
Suite 18-255, Tallahassee, Florida 32301, by phone at 850-980-0250 or
via her website
http://www.starwolfastrology.com .
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